FPT (Front Porch Therapy): women

Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Thursday

I've been trying to come up with a witty title for today's entry and I have nothing. This week has been very overwhelming mentally for me. I haven't had any extras pressures put on me that weren't there before the weekend. Just trying to keep myself accountable and on a schedule. Which is apparently very stressful for me because the leg has been groaning at me all week.

MOMS group started up again today and we're doing Esther by Beth Moore. I wasn't as excited about it as some of the other ladies in the group are but I was happy to be getting back into the swing of a study with this group of women. For not being so excited, I sure did take a lot of notes during the introduction session. I think it's going to be good. I didn't realize that Beth Moore was such a history buff, that helps me appreciate her more.

I think what got me today was one sentence. "Our biggest problem is other women."

She did a survey of 400 women and asked them the three toughest things about being a woman. I started thinking about it and I really enjoy being a woman. I would not like to be a man and all that they have to do and be. Not that being a woman is easy. As I was thinking about it and having conversations with some of the other women, it occurred to me that the hardest part about being a woman is other women. We need to lean on other women, we need our girlfriends to listen and understand us, we were built to engage with other women. We were also very judgmental of ourselves and others and we imagine what other women are thinking about us.

I realized that I have had a hard time keeping up with girlfriends. Life was easier when I was hanging out with the guys all the time. Guys were pretty easy to understand and they just spew stuff our all the time. Women are so complicated. And I'm not saying that I'm any better than any of the other women out there, I'm probably worse because I have built such walls around me.

I started thinking about the relationships I have that have a sense of drama to them or that I don't know where to go with them because there's an elephant there that I cannot name. I just started trying to piece together a prayer for them or the situation. When on the radio came..."Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." Exactly. They don't know what it's doing to me. They have their own world and their own lives that they are trying to live. They don't know.

Which probably means that I don't know what I am doing in their lives. Ugh.

My other favorite line from today was..."scatterbrained mess". That is exactly how I feel right now.

What do you think is the toughest thing about being a woman?

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Women Of Faith Part 7

Saturday afternoon. Final wrap up but plenty of good stuff still to be learned about. So let's get to it.

A little bit of Luci Swindoll's bio: This world-traveling adventurer never stops learning, never stops loving, and never stops teaching us how to wring every last drop out of each and every day. She's been a corporate exec, an opera singer, an art teacher, public relations, author, and speaker. And now to my notes:
want - don't want this - end you life without getting what you want

live every moment fully
only you can determine if you're going to be happy
they have nothing and they love life (She was sharing with us her adventure with World Vision.)
waiting for our souls to catch up with our bodies
1Timothy 6:17 ¹⁷ Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
if you enjoy the world, you will improve it
because nobody told me I couldn't
I just watched her mouth because you don't know what will come out
I just love the sound of it in my mouth
I'm a millionaire in Christ
everyone is born with a sin nature
God has found you righteous in your sinning heart
Romans 6:23 ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in^[a] Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nicole Johnson (performance)

I'm invisible
the greatness of what you are building when no one sees
working their whole lives on something they would never see finished
invisibility is the cure to my own pride
we don't work for them, that's too small

And some final words from their Front Porch:

Lisa Harper

Heidi's gone wild
The Next Door
all addictions are a disorder of worship

Angie Smith

put you here to hear His voice

Nicole Johnson

Cinderella
turning tragedy into triumph

Luci Swindoll

don't wait
this is great
step up, step out, do it

And to wrap up my adventure...some random pictures. Hope to see you there next year.

This last one is "Michael Jackson" performing Bad. It was awesome!

Women Of Faith Part 6

Aren't we a wonderfully colorful group of women? See. You can spy our group from the top of the stairs and know exactly where to go. It was great on the breaks because you could spy each other while walking along the concourse. And now, back to our training.

A bit of Nicole Johnson's bio: She takes the lessons and experiences of women around the world, connecs them with her own, and transforms them into extraordinarily touching performances. She has 20 years in writing, performing, and listening. Her empathy, humor, insight, and hope illuminate how life's greatest value can sometimes be found hidden in its broken pieces. And now my notes:

Why did they invite you to get coffee? - It's an invitation to connect.
anger is an issue for women - don't want to be angry or to be seen being angry
has to get someone under the hood to see what is going on
where does it hurt, start there
the flame to the fuel dump in your body
answering a question so big wearing shoes too small
fuel dump will annihilate those around you
are you angry with God?
why hasn't God taken that away
there are things we aught to be angry with in this world
when you give ME your heart, I can control that
Women Of Faith = Island of Misfit Toys
let the breaking stop
I will take those pieces that you try to throw away and create something beautiful out of it

Something these two women had in common. When the emotion got too high, they tossed out a joke to get us all laughing and the room would lighten. It was amazing watching them.

A bit of Angie Smith's bio: She writes a transparent, warm, witty blog Bring the Rain. She has two great passions in life: helping to heal people's hearts and writing. And now, my notes:

motherhood never really ends
children have an incredible ability to humble us
She went into the two stories of Jesus and the storm in the Bible.
Matthew 14 and how this lesson pertains to all of the challenges we face every day. Peter had three choices as his head was slipping under the water.

1. he can try to keep his own head above water
2. he can call to his friends for help
3. he can call on Jesus

Storm - Jesus in the boat. In the book of Mark - they call Jesus rabbi, teacher. In the book of Luke - they call Jesus overseer. In the book of Matthew - they call him kyrios - divine Son of God - while the storm is raging He asks about their faith.
we need to be prepared to answer that question in the middle of our storm

Lunch

Our yummy lunch for today. With my purse of goodies and my improvised camera bag. I love everything that you can do with a necktie.

Women Of Faith Part 5

Saturday morning. We had a weirdo-wall-knocker before our alarms went off (yes, had two a rooster and a dog). Also heard their alarm clock going off and tried to turn it off. Us blind people in the morning. Trying to search for the noise without breaking anything especially our glasses. It was a good thing that those lovely ladies next door were a part of our clan of monkeys. We all gathered ourselves together and had breakfast together in one of the rooms. We were highly entertained by the free paper outside of our room. It had more news in it about Wisconsin than Minnesota.

This is also when our beloved leader reminded us to make sure to wear our Who-hats for the day. Think I may wear mine to go out trick-or-treating with the girls.

Mary Graham went through the list of where everyone was from. A fantastic assortment of ladies. My favorite quote though, "You don't need a lot of people from Wisconsin to make noise."

A bit of Lisa Harper's bio: She brings the Bible to life and has the know-how to do it with a Master of Theological Studies. She served as director for Focus on the Family's women's ministry. Now she writes books and speaks all over the world. And now a few of my notes from the weekend:

running to Pulpit Rock Colorado Springs and resting in the glory of God, also impersonating a bear
kids are resilient
be careful who you leave your children with
having a collander heart
warm blanket of victimization will suffocate us
the Bible is a love story
Psalms is Gods iPod, especially #39
when you get together, who listens
God not only sees us...(I was so focused on what she was going to say next that I lost the rest of the quote. Maybe someone will come along and fill it in for me. I loved listening to her story.)
absent from the body, present with the glory

Shelia Walsh:

She shared with us the story of her anniversary presents. The nightie that wouldn't keep her foot warm if she chose to wrap it around her foot and the recent hoodie footie with her name on it = she would be covered. And how much she enjoyed the word "covered".
it's not about me getting it right
Psalm 91:4 ⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
whatever I take in will make some kind of harvest
Psalm 143: 8 ⁸ Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
safest place to be is where Jesus is
John 16:33 ³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
He loves you as you are
His ways are different than ours
I am going to take you to the gates of hell, but I will be with you
ridiculous mercy
The Shepherd knows where to find you
The trouble is in you but so is Jesus
cast - when a sheep falls over, they can't get up on their own
Bummer lamb - when the ewe discards it's new born and the shepherd saves it by taking it into his home
it's not your job to get yourself home

Break time. We got smart today. (If that sentence isn't the funniest one I've written.) We decided to go and get our lunches early so that we wouldn't have to fight the crowds. Off I go to take a break myself now. Pray you are enjoying my notes.

Women Of Faith Part 4

Friday night dinner was an entertaining experience. We ate at the hotel restaurant which was delicious.
First our room and the view out of our window.

Holiday Inn 3M

We Bobsy Twins went downstairs to claim a table for the 11 of us that were going to be eating there. We scanned the menu and pondered what to eat. Then, being the polite people we are, we waited for everyone to get to the table before we ordered. So being polite backfired because of the number of people in the restaurant and the speed in which we needed our food done in order to get back on time. It all worked out in the end and I had a fantastic taco salad and my twin got her fries that we were going to stop back for after the event. We had a blast together we two. The rest of our crew started to worry about us a little but we were just having fun and relaxing from our lives.

Friday night seats were set ticket seats. So we got to enjoy our 3rd row stage left seats. It was pretty awesome. The night was filled with comedians and concerts.

Nicole Johnson
She performed a skit about the many hats that we wear throughout the course of the day. Including how sometimes we end up wearing many hats all at the same time causing us to talk amongst ourself. (Which is a line my roommates fed to me later that night because after a couple glasses of wine I cannot stop talking.)

Mary Mary

The Front Porch!
I was super excited to see that they had a front porch for the stage. It's where the other speakers sat and could have their kids wander up and sit with them while they weren't on the actual stage. I would have enjoyed it a little more if it would have looked like an actual porch but that's probably not feasible for setting up and having the most visual on the stage. Here are a few one-liners from the stage introductions.

what was it like at the beginning
healed an unknown wound
the gift of leaving them (children) at home
like a donkey at the Kentucky Derby
Michael Jackson (Nicole Johnson's son had an alternate personality)
I don't have children, but I have gotten used to children
laughter is good medicine

John Branyan

borrowed this photo from the event pictures posted to Facebook. I didn't get very good pics of the people on the stage.

Do you think God has a sense of humor? He made you didn't He?
bend with the wind
What are you thinking? Why do women ask that? NOTHING
Why are you asking me? I'm not even qualified to dress myself. (This was after being scolded for his lawn mowing clothes and then being asked if his wife looks good.)
spackling accident
a pregnant woman is alot like Taz
you throw it away before it gets funny (his take on divorce)

Natalie Grant

Hotel:
I gave you the buttons.
The buttons have snaps.

Women Of Faith Part 3

Friday afternoon's session featured Henry Cloud and Shelia Walsh again. They also did an audience Q&A session. We chose a different row of seats to sit in after lunch. The cookies were the best part of lunch. We we were all amazed at the difference between the coffee line and the bathroom line. You could get through the bathroom line quicker than the coffee line.

The doorway in the back is the bathroom. The women in line are for the coffee and the line just keeps going.

Henry Cloud:

learned helplessness - nothing I do makes any difference
- personalize the bummer things
- pervasive the things take over your whole life
- permanent is when you think it will be this way always
you cannot see what the whole world has in store for you
There is always a death before a resurrection - It's time to die to some things
necessary endings
- Jesus called them out of something in order to call them into where He wants them
- we are hoarders - don't want to let go of the old to get the new
Helping a friend who is a hoarder won't work.- She will think, what if she needs this/that, she will not be able to find it out there so she needs to keep it here; she needs to let go of it herself - she is stuck in a time that she can't let go of
just a little step like a mustard seed
Lots wife couldn't let go and turned into salt
Ecclesiastes 3/Byrds - Turn Turn Turn
Pruning - You need to prune the people and thoughts in your life like you have to prune your plants. You prune because plants produce more than they can sustain, when they get sick, and when they are dead and never coming back to life
addictions are contagious
He never calls us to go alone
With your monkeys and a little faith...not saying this is easy, it might be a trip through the desert
2500 feet is the last minute anything good can happen (He shared a story about skydiving with his wife and I just loved that sentence out of it all.)
meanwhile, back at the ranch

Universe - He told us that there are 4 corners of the universe and you get to choose where you reside.
1. Isolation - afraid to trust, need and let people in - soul death and despair - can't feed yourself
2. The Bad Connection - makes you feel bad - not good enough - back and forth between 1 and 2
3. Seductive - find a network that makes you feel good but does not fulfill you - lustful - gratification
4. Home - come home - real - just the way you are - with the monkeys that are crazy as you.

Q&A with Henry Cloud and Shelia Walsh:

He is a coach to walk along side you
at times doing things that make no sense to you; it's to respect authority
your brain stops growing at 25
"you need" is outlawed - you as a parent need that and you aren't having your needs met, your child has no need for that at all. It is better to teach cause and effect or to transfer the need to the child
you need to go get some monkeys
I don't have to carry stuff anymore
fair does not live here but Jesus does
forgiveness is a place of freedom in Jesus
you have a broken people picker
People today are in a rush to be OK and angry is more comfortable than grief. Anger is the protest of God and He uses it in a way that we don't see.
your grief should not be done alone, which is why God placed tears where people can see them and help
we know at some core knowledge that life was never supposed to be this way
canals of chemicals in the brain tell you how to feel
live a life so compelling that others want to do what you are doing
give prayer with Thanksgiving that God already has it in His hands

SheliaWalsh:

John 14:27²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
peace - total well being because God's presence is with His people
the peace offered us is change inside us not out
it is not the absence of trouble it's the presence of Christ
Romans 12:1 ¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
stand firm as a daughter of a King
Mark 4: 35-41 boat in the storm - they are not afraid until the Lord speaks to the storm
Where peace is offered doesn't mean that everything is OK
**Psalm 143:8 ⁸ Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
Book - Heaven Is For Real - She was asked to read it by a close friend of hers and do a blurb for the back of the book. This book moved her and she was honored later on to meet this amazing boy.
That Jesus has walked us all the way home

Dinner

Women Of Faith Part 2

Friday Morning was TONS of fun. Got to road trip over 3 hours in the car with some awesome ladies (now known as my monkeys after this day). I got to eat some chocolate covered peanut butter; don't get to have that at home because one of my girls has a nut allergy. Our group leader had created these awesome shirts for our group to wear at the conference. We voted for a pumpkin orange for easy spying. My one friend and I decided to rebel and wear our shirts both days (with another shirt underneath) and it worked out in our favor because the other ladies in our group could easily spy us and find our seats again when they went off for a break.

Friday Morning Session:

Shelia Walsh:

She found in her dying what she longed for in her living.

Romans 8: 38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Mark 5: 25-29 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. ²⁶ She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. ²⁷ When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, ²⁸ because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” ²⁹ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

There are 603 rules in the Old Testament beyond the 10 Commandments.
Leviticus 15:25 “‘When a woman has a discharge of blood for many days at a time other than her monthly period or has a discharge that continues beyond her period, she will be unclean as long as she has the discharge, just as in the days of her period.²⁶ Any bed she lies on while her discharge continues will be unclean, as is her bed during her monthly period, and anything she sits on will be unclean, as during her period. ²⁷ Anyone who touches them will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening.

So the woman from Mark was alone for 12 years. She had no contact with anyone. If she would even come close to bumping into someone on the street, she would have to yell out that she was not clean. Can you imagine being alone for 12 years and not being able to touch anyone? Jesus gave a chance for a bigger opportunity than she asked for. He announce to all that her faith had made her clean so that she could immediately being to rejoin society and being to enjoy all that God intended for her.

Shame is more devastating than guilt.

Lay your baggage down and be free.

Shelia was amazing to listen to. Her accent and her passion for what she is saying just mesmerizes you. Her bio shares that she is an author, singer, television personality, and dog walker who does it all while wearing killer heels. She shares the real issues many of us deal with every day. She is currently working on completing her Master's degree in Divinity.

Henry Cloud:

Called himself the token guy of the day

It's the only place I feel accepted because of my man bag
allow you to think about things that don't exist yet
we all have issues and problems

1. clinical world - where we hurt
2. relationship world
3. dreams and goals

do you want to be happy?
10% of happiness comes from circumstances
Happy people are givers. If you could find a way to give, eat great food and have amazing sex all at the same time, they would never be able to find you.
enablers are being stolen from by people who will not face their issues
He doesn't have any problems. I can help you to help him to have some problems.
healthier with happiness and giving
learning to say no
Happy people connect. They have deep connections with a circle of people. They have a place you can go empty and leave full.
Baby, be my monkey and get into my cage

The monkey story was amazing. He was part of the group that was studying happiness instead of depression. He ran across a study that they did on stress levels in monkeys. They placed a monkey in a cage and completely traumatized it to find a base line for stress. Then they placed another monkey in the cage and the initial monkey's stress level was cut in half. Just having someone go through it with you, makes it seem not so bad. Go grab a monkey and ease the stress in your life.

Henry Cloud's bio shares that he has his PhD. That he has written 20 books. That he is easy-to-understand, gives practical advice tempered with humor and compassion, and it will stick with you long after you have heard him speak. That he has a knack for simplifying complicated issues.

Lunch
Was interesting. They provided sandwiches with an orange and a cookie and a bottle of water. Two of us went for the seven that were there and ended up having to wait for the water because they ran out in the serving line. I guess they didn't think us rebels would be able to finish this mission (or they were really hungry) because they sent out a search party for us. It was all good and we all enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. I am blessed to be able to call this group of women my monkeys.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Women Of Faith St Paul MN

As Mary Graham said at one point during the conference, "What happens at Women of Faith, stays at Women of Faith...except for what happens on the stage." So here is a compilation of my notes from the weekend. Bust first... It was an amazing event; rock concert, worship, and personal development all rolled into one. My first Women of Faith conference. Our seats were amazing! We were 3rd row from the floor directly off stage left. (Love Snagglepuss)

Our leader put together a fun experience for us. She had tshirts printed off for us which got plenty of attention all on their own. Then she also surprised us with Who-hats. Some women we passed had to tell us that they wouldn't be caught wearing them. Some women stopped us to tell us how great of an idea they were. You could spot anyone from our group all the way down the concourse; so if you lost anyone, they would be plenty easy to find.

The morning session of Friday was General Admission seating. Therefore, our group sat high up in a different section, which was fine with us. We could still see and hear everything just fine. Being a sentence collector, this was an amazing event for me. I took 7 pages worth of notes. Will share the highlights of them with you through the week.

The theme was Imagine.
The hostess was Mary Graham.
The worship team was Jennifer Thigpen, Janice Gaines, Laura Cooksey, and Allison Abbott.
The musical talent for weekend was Natalie Grant and Mary Mary.
The speakers were Henry Cloud, Lisa Harper, Nicole Johnson, Angie Smith, Luci Swindoll, and Shelia Walsh.
Our comedian was John Branyan.
You can find out more about all of these wonderful people on the Women of Faith website.

When we walked in we received a schedule and a booklet. The book included bios on all the speakers and had some advertising for the merchandise you could purchase that day. The book also included tear out cards for their Q & A session and the prayer of faith at the end of the weekend. The also included a few pages for those who forgot to bring a journal or didn't think they would need one and were sadly mistaken. I took 10 pages of notes. Over the next couple of posts I'll share with you what I found to be noteworthy and necessary for others to hear.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

A great friend to have.

Realized this weekend how much we need those special friends in our lives. On the way back "home" this weekend, a high school friend of mine posted something on Facebook about a girl's night. Haven't had one of those (without kids) in a while.

I realized talking to this long-time friend that we have an interesting "catch" to our friendship. We don't seem to know when to stop talking. It has been this way since we became friends back in high school.

There are a few moments that I will never forget about our talks.

One back in high school. We lived just a few blocks away from each other. It was a fall day and raining. We stood at that intersection for at least an hour talking in the rain. One of us would say, "I think it's time to head home." and then we'd think of another topic to talk about until one of us said it again.

Another time was after we were both grown and starting families. It was snowing and cold and the restaurant we had been at closed for the night. We stood outside in the cold and the snow and talked and talked. Both of our cars were in the lot just waiting for us to climb in. Instead, we stood in the cold and talked about every topic under the sun. Until we realized that we could have been sitting in a car and that we just really needed to go home now that it was so late.

At 3am, we realized that we had done it again. Both up early and tired and new the kids would be up early again. Those new topics kept popping up and we just kept talking. At least we have learned that we need to be inside when we have these talks.

This has been a friend who has been by me through thick and thin. I try to be there for her as much as she has been here for me. I just pray that every woman out there has a friend like this or has had one at one point during their life. I cherish every time we get to spend time together and renew ourselves.

That friend that you can say anything too and discuss any topic with and know that it is ok to open yourself up completely.

If you have a friend like this, send them a message or give them a call. Let them know that you're thinking about them every day.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Proverbs 31:10-31

New International Version (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

¹⁰ ^[a]A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

This scripture was part of the MOMS study I'm in for the week on your husband. I read it and was astounded and thought that I needed to share this with my hubby after he chuckled about the topic of the week.

The question that followed the instructions to read it was, "What questions came into your head as you read it?"

My husbands response was that life is so much easier now.

I had a few more thoughts than that.

Did she have anyone to help her with all of this? That's a crazy amount of work for one woman.

Is our advanced technology helping us or hurting us? It's allowing for more idle time.

What were your thoughts after reading this verse? Do you think that you could be a woman from the Proverbs? I know for certain that I would have a really hard time doing it. Especially since I asked my husband today if he ever felt like he was being buried alive. He chuckled and said that he never thought of it that way. He also admitted that is why he doesn't ask me to do more than I already am. Because he recognizes that I may start one project with good intention of finishing it and then get distracted (rightly) by the children or anything else that takes (right) priority and then I just forget to get back to it.

On that note...I have heaps of laundry and dishes that should be getting some minimal attention while everyone is otherly distracted. But I am really enjoying writing.

Friday, September 9, 2011

So tired...just want a nap.

Something has got to be missing from my body because I should not feel this tired all the time. It's probably me wearing myself down but I don't remember feeling this tired when I do that. Hmmm...maybe these 330am wake ups with no nap are starting to affect me. Tiny girl did allow me to take one nap this week. We will try again today with all the other stuff I have planned.

Girlie birthday party this weekend. Started making the fairy dust (colored salt) last night. Going to pop some fresh popcorn for them to sprinkle the fairy dust on. Also planning on making coffee filter fairies and no cook playdough. So keep your eyes open for the wrap up summary of all this fantasticness. Along with it being my birthday and we've been invited to an Eagle Scout ceremony. And then it looks like I'll be starting helping out in the classroom the week after or maybe the week after that. The hubby is very excited that I have so much to do to keep busy. Praying that if I wear myself out, that he'll be fine picking up the pieces (after all, it took him a week to realize I was sick last month).

M.O.M.S. group started up again. Love hanging out with such a wide range of women. We have two brand new moms and a few well retired ladies along with all of us in the many stages of children. This session we are studying

And yesterday was the introduction session. What hit me the most was the simple change of a word in a sentence can change everything. If you simply change "need" to "want", this weight lifts off of you and you are able to function happily. Talked this topic over with the hubby last night. He said that there has to be a base list of needs in order to function. I think that if we make some of those needs into wants in the learning process, we may raise happier children. They should want to pick up their toys so that they know where to find them and they don't disappear. They should want to put their clothes in their drawers so that they know where to find them and they stay clean and safe from the sisters. They should want to help out around the house because they know that makes mom and dad happy and when they are happy good things happen.

I think I have procrastinated enough for one morning (maybe .:slaps hand:. ok). Time to do my study because I want to not have to worry about it for the rest of the day and I want to do something fun with the tiny girl. Like attempt the first batch of playdough.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Meet Me Monday

What is your favorite thing to do? When you get time to yourself and you can do anything you like, what is it that you do?

I walk.

When looking for a picture to put with this post I found a thousand of us out walking together. I believe this one is my favorite though. Not quite sure how I got all three sleeping in two strollers. I must have had some help. If these strollers could talk, they would have some amazing stories. The single rider saw much of Colorado and almost every inch of Merrill many times. It has carried more than it probably should have to the point where I had to carry the baby because the stroller was too full. The double stroller has climbed many hills and traveled on the beach. It has carried no children and many things. It has all carried all three children.

I love to walk. By myself, with my kids, with my husband, with other grown ups. I would do this above most everything else. Of course, I would have to have a book to read and my journal to write in and my phone for emergencies and music.

What is your favorite thing to do? What do you enjoy doing with the time you get to choose to use?

Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Last Day of the Challenge

Today is the last day of the 31 day Blog Challenge. I started wracking my brain as to how I wanted to end this adventure. What have I learned. Who have I met. What I'm doing different.Where I'm going to go from here.

Those are all deep and pondersome questions. I'm not feeling that deep right now.

I really enjoyed having to be accountable for making sure that I shared something new every day. It made me more willing to share more, think more, write more.

I am amazed at how much my life has changed in these last couple of years. Something is steering me to go down a certain path. It looks very scary. And to borrow a quote from a lovely lady I've met this year, " I always take the high road. The low road is way too crowded." (You can find her here... http://christythewriter.com/)

This next school year is going to be a challenge for us all. My hubby changed jobs, therefore, we are waking up at 330A to get him ready for work and spend time together. Then I spend the next couple of hours cleaning, writing, spending time doing what I want to without distractions. Then come the school year, I'll be getting two of the three ready for full day of school. This means new challenges for the both of them, along with homework. It also means a new challenge for me and the tiny girl. She wants to do everything that her sisters do. She told me at the end of last year that she was going to be in second grade next year (she's 3).

I'm glad to have met many moms who have been down this part of the path that I have begun to walk down. I'm also glad to have met many teachers and homeschoolers who share wonderful ideas to keep my tiny genius busy. I have also met many writers who inspire me and show me that I don't need to be perfect for people to enjoy my writing. The only thing I need to do is to keep writing my best and people will read it.

It's like that giant question that everyone has asked at some point in their life, "How do they do it?" You just keep on keeping on and do your best to get it done. Don't be afraid to say that you need help....and then go to find it.

This is the path that I am taking and I am glad to have been a part of this challenge and to see all the wonderful assortment of people and thoughts out there. Also to see how just a simple word can change a person's day (sometimes all it may take is a picture).

Monday, July 25, 2011

Meet Me Monday

Been pondering what I might share with you about me today. Being my anniversary today, I started thinking about when we got married and how I got where I am today. I also started turning that story into a fictional story...don't have to add too much more drama to it to make it good fiction reading. I've always had some sort of drama in my life. For a while I was called "trouble" by my closest friends. Eh...

So here's what I have come up with...something completely different than anything else I will write.

THE DAY THAT GOD SPOKE TO ME.

No lie. I heard the voice loud and clear in my head. It was a male voice. It physically moved me. And here's the kicker...I told Him that I wasn't going to listen to Him. Ha...you should see what he did to me after that.

The moment happened on my first wedding day. Yes, shocker, this is my second marriage. The first guy was no good and he had mentally abused me to the point that I didn't think I was good enough for anyone else.

My bridesmaids and I were standing in the back of a Catholic church getting ready to walk down the aisle. When it came time for me to meet up with my dad and have him walk me down the aisle, I heard...

"You know you're going to get divorced if you do this."

My response, "Yea, I know. But it will be a good couple of years."

I mean, how dumb can a girl be?

Lasted two years exactly. During those two years he came close to physical abuse (threw things), cheated on me, and lost many good jobs because of his unwillingness to put the effort in. He also blew out his back and was laid off for a while. I got tired of support his ass while he ran around and played with whoever he wanted. I finally had enough. Once he was back on his feet (literally) I told him to leave, I was done.

It was during these two years that God placed my hubby and I on the same path. His brother married my cousin and we met at their wedding. I didn't think about dating my hubby until about two years after that. During those two years, God showed me that there were decent guys out there that were interested and they weren't willing to cross the marriage line. Decent guys! Who could keep a job and show a woman respect without wanting anything in return. So when I got fed up, I knew that I could find someone better and didn't have to deal with this crap anymore.

Rumor has it that he hasn't changed a whole lot in the 10 years since I spoke to him last.

So, that's my story. Moral is...listen when God speaks loudly in your head. And...if you're dating a loser, you can't change him. Only he can choose to change himself. Leave him. He will either change to win you back or will continue to be a loser (then you're better off without him).

I almost thought about digging up the old wedding pictures...they're about 200 miles away. I looked good, so I saved a few.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Thoughts of Another Agenda

To finish up our week of my hometown...

I need to get out of this place. There's nothing here for me I have bigger and better dreams than these people. I need to get out of this place because I could never make anything out of myself here. These people will always see me as a child or as "that boy" or "that girl". No matter how much I change or how much I improve myself, they will always see the mistakes that I've made or the past that I've come from. I'm tired of being known as so-and-so's child.

I know you've seen all those movies already. They were extremely popular in the 80s.

These thoughts may have some merit in your situation. It's how you allow these thoughts to work in your brain that will make the difference. You can't allow what other people think of you to mold you into the person that you are, that you can be, that you want to be. If it inspires you to become better than you are, use it.

You can't change who you have been, where you have been, what you have done in the past, what your family has done in the past; the past is the past and people will either forget or remembers. Uh huh...that was very concise wasn't it? You either use your past or allow your past to use you.

Who's in charge of your life? What do you allow to influence you? What do you allow to have control over your life?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Random thoughts

Here's what's on my mind this morning.

My anniversary is on Monday. 8 fantastic years. Ok, they weren't all fantastic. What to get my hubby that he will enjoy and won't just become another thing in the house? It's bronze and pottery or linen and lace. Completely stumped by that one. I may just use my craftiness and make him something small and write him something beautiful that he can keep forever and our grandkids will be touched by how skilled a writer their grandma was and how loving and thoughtful she was and how much they wish they could be more like me.
Ok...enough of the ego boosting. I did start writing something. And if I feel brave enough, I may just share it. All I really want is to spend some time with him without the kids. Even if it's just going to get some ice cream together or going for a walk. Just do something simple. Because that is me.

The other thing on my mind is my cousin's wedding. My girls absolutely adore this lady. When we were kids we would spend a weekend together every summer at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Just the two of us (I have a sister and she has 2). She is getting married in September and I am wracking my brain trying to decide what to get her. They just bought a house this summer, so the ideal gift would be a gift card to help her finish the remodel. But I want to do something special for her.
Here's what I've been pondering....and how the two topics connect.

I have come to realize these past couple of years that marriage isn't just a thing. It's not like your name or your clothes. It is truly more like a job than anything else in this world. It takes effort on both parts to make it work. It takes hard work and understanding (I know I've heard that somewhere before).

The thought really hit me about a month ago. What I really need to do with this realization is write down these "ah-ha" thoughts about marriage so that my girls will know what I've learned and then maybe it'll help them with their marriages and relationships. Maybe I can give them a little something that I never got (sorry mom, I still love you). I found a journal at the local thrift shop...a journal that goes with The Power of a Praying Wife. In this book, I started writing down those "ah-ha" moments as they occur to me.

To connect it all together...
I was was thinking about creating a little book for my cousin on the thoughts I have collected. And I was thinking about sharing some of those same insights with my hubby in the anniversary letter. Good stuff?

Here's why a took a moment to write all of this....I would like your help. What have you found to be the "ah-ha" moment in your marriage. Something simple. Like..."it helps to have the counters clean, it makes everyone feel better and it's easier to get stuff done"...ok, with that my mind took it to the newlywed aspect and the long married aspect...love those kind of thoughts.

Ok, back from being distracted. Please feel free to add your bit of wisdom, you never know who you're going to help. Thanks for listening and now back to my sick little monkey (tummy ache and a fever).

PS...This is what inspired some of these thoughts today...http://theromanticvineyard.com/2011/07/21/water-into-wine-proverbs-11/

Treasury of Port Washington on Etsy

To continue our travel of Port Washington, WI, I went over to Etsy to see if there were any shops listed in my hometown. Here is an item from each of the shops that I found.

By Stitched For You
Green(er) Glass Earrings ($8)

By Becca Mulenburg
Feeling Lucky 11x14 original oil painting ($450)

By PlushMer
Voltorb Revolution ($15)

By KKFA
In All Their Glory ($350)

By Chitown Cheryl
Will The Circle Be Unbroken ($10)

By Karls Copper Art
Copper fountain-repousse flamingo fountain ($475)

By Angeline Petal Foot
Handpainted Silhouette Plate - Child's Play ($20)

By eleveneleven baggery
Blu Dot Envelope Messenger ($35)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Thoughts of Another Agenda

This week's topic was a challenge for me. I wanted to pick just the right topic to go next. I pondered what other thoughts typically run through women's heads that bring them down or slow them down. Because I want to show these women that if you let these thoughts take over your brain, it could lead to depression and that's not a fun place to be.

Lonely.
I am all alone in this world. No one cares about me. No one listens to me. They probably wouldn't notice if I wasn't here right now. I have no one to talk to. No one would understand me if I did talk to them. I got myself into this and I can get myself out of this.

We are never truly alone in this world. There is always someone within arms reach that will listen to you without judging. Someone that has been to a similar place as where you are. Someone who notices when you're not there. Someone that needs you more than you'll ever begin to know. And plenty of people that care about you.

Whenever these thoughts attack me, I get bombarded with counterattacks. People want me to come and listen to them or do something with them. People send me notes saying that they were just thinking about me or praying for me.

Or I hear a story that is similar to what I'm going through only it's different. It's these stories that change my life and my outlook. If that person made it through their challenge so strong, I can make it through mine that seems so easy compared to theirs. When it feels like I'm drowning in my challenge and no one is there to help me out, I think about the people that have been through worse situations than the one that is drowning me.

Then I realize that God only gives us the challenges He knows we can handle. Some days I wish God didn't trust me so much...I know you do too.