Been pondering what I might share with you about me today. Being my anniversary today, I started thinking about when we got married and how I got where I am today. I also started turning that story into a fictional story...don't have to add too much more drama to it to make it good fiction reading. I've always had some sort of drama in my life. For a while I was called "trouble" by my closest friends. Eh...
So here's what I have come up with...something completely different than anything else I will write.
THE DAY THAT GOD SPOKE TO ME.
No lie. I heard the voice loud and clear in my head. It was a male voice. It physically moved me. And here's the kicker...I told Him that I wasn't going to listen to Him. Ha...you should see what he did to me after that.
The moment happened on my first wedding day. Yes, shocker, this is my second marriage. The first guy was no good and he had mentally abused me to the point that I didn't think I was good enough for anyone else.
My bridesmaids and I were standing in the back of a Catholic church getting ready to walk down the aisle. When it came time for me to meet up with my dad and have him walk me down the aisle, I heard...
"You know you're going to get divorced if you do this."
My response, "Yea, I know. But it will be a good couple of years."
I mean, how dumb can a girl be?
Lasted two years exactly. During those two years he came close to physical abuse (threw things), cheated on me, and lost many good jobs because of his unwillingness to put the effort in. He also blew out his back and was laid off for a while. I got tired of support his ass while he ran around and played with whoever he wanted. I finally had enough. Once he was back on his feet (literally) I told him to leave, I was done.
It was during these two years that God placed my hubby and I on the same path. His brother married my cousin and we met at their wedding. I didn't think about dating my hubby until about two years after that. During those two years, God showed me that there were decent guys out there that were interested and they weren't willing to cross the marriage line. Decent guys! Who could keep a job and show a woman respect without wanting anything in return. So when I got fed up, I knew that I could find someone better and didn't have to deal with this crap anymore.
Rumor has it that he hasn't changed a whole lot in the 10 years since I spoke to him last.
So, that's my story. Moral is...listen when God speaks loudly in your head. And...if you're dating a loser, you can't change him. Only he can choose to change himself. Leave him. He will either change to win you back or will continue to be a loser (then you're better off without him).
I almost thought about digging up the old wedding pictures...they're about 200 miles away. I looked good, so I saved a few.
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Thoughts of Another Agenda
This week's topic was a challenge for me. I wanted to pick just the right topic to go next. I pondered what other thoughts typically run through women's heads that bring them down or slow them down. Because I want to show these women that if you let these thoughts take over your brain, it could lead to depression and that's not a fun place to be.
Lonely.
I am all alone in this world. No one cares about me. No one listens to me. They probably wouldn't notice if I wasn't here right now. I have no one to talk to. No one would understand me if I did talk to them. I got myself into this and I can get myself out of this.
We are never truly alone in this world. There is always someone within arms reach that will listen to you without judging. Someone that has been to a similar place as where you are. Someone who notices when you're not there. Someone that needs you more than you'll ever begin to know. And plenty of people that care about you.
Whenever these thoughts attack me, I get bombarded with counterattacks. People want me to come and listen to them or do something with them. People send me notes saying that they were just thinking about me or praying for me.
Or I hear a story that is similar to what I'm going through only it's different. It's these stories that change my life and my outlook. If that person made it through their challenge so strong, I can make it through mine that seems so easy compared to theirs. When it feels like I'm drowning in my challenge and no one is there to help me out, I think about the people that have been through worse situations than the one that is drowning me.
Then I realize that God only gives us the challenges He knows we can handle. Some days I wish God didn't trust me so much...I know you do too.
Lonely.
I am all alone in this world. No one cares about me. No one listens to me. They probably wouldn't notice if I wasn't here right now. I have no one to talk to. No one would understand me if I did talk to them. I got myself into this and I can get myself out of this.
We are never truly alone in this world. There is always someone within arms reach that will listen to you without judging. Someone that has been to a similar place as where you are. Someone who notices when you're not there. Someone that needs you more than you'll ever begin to know. And plenty of people that care about you.
Whenever these thoughts attack me, I get bombarded with counterattacks. People want me to come and listen to them or do something with them. People send me notes saying that they were just thinking about me or praying for me.
Or I hear a story that is similar to what I'm going through only it's different. It's these stories that change my life and my outlook. If that person made it through their challenge so strong, I can make it through mine that seems so easy compared to theirs. When it feels like I'm drowning in my challenge and no one is there to help me out, I think about the people that have been through worse situations than the one that is drowning me.
Then I realize that God only gives us the challenges He knows we can handle. Some days I wish God didn't trust me so much...I know you do too.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The Best Worst Thing - A Book Review
Article first published as Book Review: The Best Worst Thing: A Memoir by Kristen K. Brown on Blogcritics.
I have to thank BlogCritics for connecting me to this awesome book. The list of women that I know that need to read this book gets bigger every time I think about the book. I devoured this book it was so good. Then I would tell myself to slow down and think about that amazing thing she just said that was so simple. And so as not to get too ahead of myself...let me get to the book.
From the back cover:
As a wife, new mother, and successful career woman, Kristen Brown thinks her life is set. Until one morning, her husband doesn't wake up.
Just that sentence screamed at me that I needed to read this book. My story is no where near her story but I knew I would be able to embrace all that she had to say. There were many nights that I set the book down because reading anymore would have caused me to cry abundantly. My husband worked in Florida for two years; we live in Wisconsin. He left on this new job two months after welcoming our third daughter into our lives. I would fear for a plane crash or something equally as bad happening to him while he was on the road leaving me with these three little girls looking to me for everything.
Kristen had to live with the reality of it. Being with her husband one night and the next morning finding that he had passed in the night. She got struck with the reality that not everything turns out as you plan in life and that everything happens to make you a better and stronger person. But I'm getting ahead of myself again.
I loved reading her book. Most of the chapters are bite sized for those women who only have a few minutes at a time to devour the information that they need to continue on with their lives. Some of her topics seemed completely random (which I love because that's how I write) until she walked you through it and then you could see that it fit perfectly in her story at that point and you could understand that moment.
Kristen gave you the total picture of her life. You got the bare bones of her thoughts: the good and the bad. The challenges of being a mom, especially a single mom. How we women sometimes tend to focus on the proper and necessary raising of our children and sometimes forget about our own health and well-being. Which reminded me of a quote from Jim Rohn, "You take care of you for me and I'll take care of me for you."
I really enjoyed reading about her spiritual search and how she went at it as a professor more than searching for something that would make her feel better. Kristen read the history of the religions of our world and discovered that she doesn't fit into a religion but she has a very strong faith. She loved finding out that Jesus was a real man rather than a mythical figure (especially seeing that she was raised Lutheran). Kristen realized that there is more out there than the typical person likes to talk about. That we are all connected through all time. God doesn't see time, only we as humans need time.
I wanted to give Kristen a high-five (as cheesy as that sounds) when she started telling about her "gifted" daughter who always amazes her about how much she truly knows. She mentioned that it might have something to do with being left-handed and that making people more creative or intelligent. My youngest is a lefty and she astounds me daily by how much she knows, how much she is capable of, and how well she can dissect an idea or an item just to see how it all works. Loved it because I now know that I am not alone with my tiny girl and all of the challenges she puts me through.
If you need a wake up call to your life and what you may think about other moms and their issues in life, you need to read this book. I am looking at the women around me in a different light. I am looking at my husband in a different light.
To find more about Kristen and her book, you can find her at her website:
http://www.kristenkbrown.com/
Or on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/KristenKBrownWrites?sk=wall
Or on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/#!/KristenKBrown
Go meet this amazing woman.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher for a book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
I have to thank BlogCritics for connecting me to this awesome book. The list of women that I know that need to read this book gets bigger every time I think about the book. I devoured this book it was so good. Then I would tell myself to slow down and think about that amazing thing she just said that was so simple. And so as not to get too ahead of myself...let me get to the book.
From the back cover:
As a wife, new mother, and successful career woman, Kristen Brown thinks her life is set. Until one morning, her husband doesn't wake up.Just that sentence screamed at me that I needed to read this book. My story is no where near her story but I knew I would be able to embrace all that she had to say. There were many nights that I set the book down because reading anymore would have caused me to cry abundantly. My husband worked in Florida for two years; we live in Wisconsin. He left on this new job two months after welcoming our third daughter into our lives. I would fear for a plane crash or something equally as bad happening to him while he was on the road leaving me with these three little girls looking to me for everything.
Kristen had to live with the reality of it. Being with her husband one night and the next morning finding that he had passed in the night. She got struck with the reality that not everything turns out as you plan in life and that everything happens to make you a better and stronger person. But I'm getting ahead of myself again.
I loved reading her book. Most of the chapters are bite sized for those women who only have a few minutes at a time to devour the information that they need to continue on with their lives. Some of her topics seemed completely random (which I love because that's how I write) until she walked you through it and then you could see that it fit perfectly in her story at that point and you could understand that moment.
Kristen gave you the total picture of her life. You got the bare bones of her thoughts: the good and the bad. The challenges of being a mom, especially a single mom. How we women sometimes tend to focus on the proper and necessary raising of our children and sometimes forget about our own health and well-being. Which reminded me of a quote from Jim Rohn, "You take care of you for me and I'll take care of me for you."
I really enjoyed reading about her spiritual search and how she went at it as a professor more than searching for something that would make her feel better. Kristen read the history of the religions of our world and discovered that she doesn't fit into a religion but she has a very strong faith. She loved finding out that Jesus was a real man rather than a mythical figure (especially seeing that she was raised Lutheran). Kristen realized that there is more out there than the typical person likes to talk about. That we are all connected through all time. God doesn't see time, only we as humans need time.
I wanted to give Kristen a high-five (as cheesy as that sounds) when she started telling about her "gifted" daughter who always amazes her about how much she truly knows. She mentioned that it might have something to do with being left-handed and that making people more creative or intelligent. My youngest is a lefty and she astounds me daily by how much she knows, how much she is capable of, and how well she can dissect an idea or an item just to see how it all works. Loved it because I now know that I am not alone with my tiny girl and all of the challenges she puts me through.
If you need a wake up call to your life and what you may think about other moms and their issues in life, you need to read this book. I am looking at the women around me in a different light. I am looking at my husband in a different light.
To find more about Kristen and her book, you can find her at her website:
http://www.kristenkbrown.com/
Or on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/KristenKBrownWrites?sk=wall
Or on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/#!/KristenKBrown
Go meet this amazing woman.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher for a book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Moms Praying For Moms
Whether you pray the way I pray.
Whether you believe in God as I believe in God.
We moms need to pray for the other moms we know.
We know what kind of behavior may happen in their lives with their children because we are living it as well.
I asked for prayer this week for life with my 3-year-old. She is a strong willed child that has genius tendencies. At least that's how I see her. She measures the punishment to the crime to determine if the punishment is worth the fun of the crime she plans to commit. She knows right from wrong and sometimes chooses the wrong because she can. She watches her sisters very closely and then imitates them to a tee.
I have see the fruit of the prayers. I am having moments of clarity.
She is bored and not challenged by the things around her or the things her sisters want to do.
She is my challenge. I am stockpiling activities to keep her active next year while both of her sisters are in school full time. Otherwise I may just decide to run away from home one day.
If you are a mom, and need some prayers, feel free to comment. I'll add you to my prayer bracelet and pray for wisdom and clarity for you this week.
Whether you believe in God as I believe in God.
We moms need to pray for the other moms we know.
We know what kind of behavior may happen in their lives with their children because we are living it as well.
I asked for prayer this week for life with my 3-year-old. She is a strong willed child that has genius tendencies. At least that's how I see her. She measures the punishment to the crime to determine if the punishment is worth the fun of the crime she plans to commit. She knows right from wrong and sometimes chooses the wrong because she can. She watches her sisters very closely and then imitates them to a tee.
I have see the fruit of the prayers. I am having moments of clarity.
She is bored and not challenged by the things around her or the things her sisters want to do.
She is my challenge. I am stockpiling activities to keep her active next year while both of her sisters are in school full time. Otherwise I may just decide to run away from home one day.
If you are a mom, and need some prayers, feel free to comment. I'll add you to my prayer bracelet and pray for wisdom and clarity for you this week.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Following the Right Path
Today marked the final lesson in my first Bible study since 2003. Wow, it's been too long when you put it that way. Looks like my praying to find the Right Path (for 2 years) has paid off. God's biggest lesson for us is learning patience.
Was invited to a MOMS group who was studying The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian. It was a fantastic study and just kept hitting home all the things going on around us and in us and with my friends. It takes you step by step through the how and why and when of praying. It shows you the examples of prayers answered in the Bible; some quick to answer and some not.
We ended today with a question as to how we are going to use this lesson and how we're going to keep ourselves accountable for it. Because without prayer, you're just walking through the dark with your eyes closed.
I am going to continue to pray for me. Sounds selfish, but here's the why: because I can only change myself. If I make a change in me to live the life of a better Christian, everyone around me will see it. Some will choose to make similar changes because they like what they see and some won't. Some will make immediate changes and some will watch for a while before they see. Some will ask why such good things keep happening to me and not them and some will see the same results. Because of constant prayer and walking with the Lord.
I'm taking this lesson with me to my next FPT event. Because there are women from all walks coming together because of the bond of friendship. We are going to drink wine, create works of art, make new sentences, and glorify God in all that we do.
Looking forward to the event and to show these women the change in me and see how it effects a change in them.
Was invited to a MOMS group who was studying The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian. It was a fantastic study and just kept hitting home all the things going on around us and in us and with my friends. It takes you step by step through the how and why and when of praying. It shows you the examples of prayers answered in the Bible; some quick to answer and some not.
We ended today with a question as to how we are going to use this lesson and how we're going to keep ourselves accountable for it. Because without prayer, you're just walking through the dark with your eyes closed.
I am going to continue to pray for me. Sounds selfish, but here's the why: because I can only change myself. If I make a change in me to live the life of a better Christian, everyone around me will see it. Some will choose to make similar changes because they like what they see and some won't. Some will make immediate changes and some will watch for a while before they see. Some will ask why such good things keep happening to me and not them and some will see the same results. Because of constant prayer and walking with the Lord.
I'm taking this lesson with me to my next FPT event. Because there are women from all walks coming together because of the bond of friendship. We are going to drink wine, create works of art, make new sentences, and glorify God in all that we do.
Looking forward to the event and to show these women the change in me and see how it effects a change in them.
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