It takes a village.

After a weekend of highs and drops (not lows, just felt like I stepped off a cliff a few times to land on a trampoline) I had the hardest morning ever. I've been writing this in my head today while walking to girls to school and back. Wasn't sure if I was going to write about it but I think there might be some lessons in here that others could appreciate.

I let the girls sleep in a little this morning after our long weekend of playing non-stop. This was probably where I went wrong to start with. But I know how much I enjoy those extra couple of minutes. Then I usually give them hugs and kisses and tickles and words of encouragement about their day and what we're all going to be doing and all of the steps that they are accomplishing while I'm getting the lazy bones out of the rest of the beds.

My Violet girl was all excited about our day today because we get to go and teach letters to the kids in my Amber girl's class. Then my Violet girl tried getting out of bed and had the start of a melt down. So I crawled over onto her bed and started getting her up and moving. I knew I was in a bad position by her feet but she normally crawls up and out of the bed. Lesson One: do not assume anything. Lesson Two: do not allow your head to get in the vicinity of anyone's feet.

Instead of pulling her feet up and crawling out the top of her bed...I saw in slow motion...that sinister giggle and sparkle in her eye, her knee came all the way up to the smile, and released the foot at my face. I instantly thought my nose was broken. Thankful my glasses weren't broken. Waited for the blood to start while the other two girls dropped into panic mode. I pat myself on the back for not cussing. Was really amazed that I didn't cuss and started wondering why not because it hurt that bad.

Once I composed myself, I jumped off the bed and finished getting myself ready for the day. I said something about how it was my own fault for putting myself in that situation and for letting them sleep in those few minutes. If I would just stick to the schedule, there wouldn't be an issue about them getting out of bed and getting ready for school. Now, on my walks today, I realized that it wasn't my fault. She saw me there. If she would have been on her belly trying to scramble away and kicked trying to get her footing, that would have been my fault. So I negative talked myself into not beating the tar out of that little girl. Lesson Three: leave any situation where you feel like you may lose control. I walked out of the room letting the girls that I was going downstairs, that they are all big enough to get ready by themselves, and that I needed to remove myself before I did something that I couldn't take back.

Sobbing the rest of the getting ready for school process. The pain and the unbelief and the reality that I can't do it all myself just caused me to lose control of my control. Make that Lesson Four: you can't do it all yourself, God made you companions for a reason.

When my Violet girl came down to eat breakfast, she said "Sorry Momma" so sweetly that all I could do was nod my head and sob uncontrollably. The rotten mom in me wondered which sister told her that she needed to apologize to me. The other two girls couldn't seem to hug me enough and kept checking to make sure I was ok and that their sister was doing what she was supposed to be doing. My Hazel girl asked me if anything ever happened like this before to me. I told her yes, when she was about 2. She hit me so hard in the face that my glasses went flying. I slapped her back and she hasn't even thought about hitting me since. Not very proud of that memory but it worked. She's the one that worries about me and my well-being the most.

Here's the interesting part that leads to the lesson on it taking a village to raise a child. I was worried about going to school today. I always run into a great friend there and we check and see how each other's kids are and how the previous night and this morning has gone. I was worried about running into her and sharing the story of my morning. Because I was afraid of change. I knew deep inside me that she was going to say something that was going to change my whole day around and I was afraid of what that change was going to be. I was also afraid that I wouldn't be able to talk and would just stand there sobbing my eyes out as she looked at me wondering who died.

It has been a morning of quiet walks today. Lots of thinking going on. We got to school and ran into my friend and she could see from down the hall that something wasn't right. I would share a picture with you of my face, but I don't even like seeing it today. I told her what happened and you could see the unbelief. It wasn't until I shared with her what my other two girls shared with me after I brought the dog in from outside this morning that I started the next lesson. My girls told me that my Violet girl didn't think it was her fault, she thought that it was my fault that she kicked me in the face. After my friend heard that she instantly said, "No" in this voice that caused the entire school to get quiet and listen. It was amazing as she informed Violet that any time she hurt someone else that she would be at fault and that she did not make a Godly choice this morning and that she had better start treating her mom a lot nicer...and many other things...I just don't have them all stored away because as she was talking, you could feel the school quieting, the energy flowing through her as she corrected this child who needed to be corrected and she was doing it through God. Then my friend wrapped her arm around me and said, "If we all walk along with her in Christ, it will all be ok." Or something like that...it was beautiful and what stuck with me was the "we all walk along with her in Christ".  That lifted my day.

I came home to work on my computer and the snippet I had collect from an audio on parenting came on in my shuffle. It was about how it takes a village to raise a child. The speaker gave an example of how he would handle one of his friends children if he caught them standing on a table. How he would strongly encourage proper behavior and correct wrong behaviors in a Christ-like manner. How he would expect his friends to do the same thing for his children. Because sometimes, it just needs to come from someone else. My hubby said something along the lines of how he was glad my friend did that for me because it was someone Violet knew but could still be fearful of (in a respect aspect).

So it all clicked into place that I needed to share this story. I was so angry and this little girl that I couldn't stand to be near her. I didn't know how I would get through the day because there was no where I could drop her off and come back later when I felt better. It's probably a good thing that I couldn't because it's allowed my anger to subside. I was at a loss this morning and now I have focus and direction. I am in horrible pain and keep bumping my nose and bringing tears to my eyes. I can't wait for my hubby to get home from work to take over so that I can close my eyes. With all of the crying and getting kicked in the face, my eyes feel bruised.

I am proud of myself for how I reacted compared to how I could have reacted. But I am still at a loss of what to do about this tiny girl. She needs some form of punishment and needs to understand what she did wrong. But I don't think I have it in me to do. This is why God created companions and why we need a village to raise our children. The village isn't always those who live around us. The village is the people that affect our lives. I received prayers from a friend in Florida today after she read my post on FB (all it said was that it was going to be a long day). I'm sure there a few other friends out there praying for me right now because I don't think I would be as sane as I am right now if it weren't for their prayers.

So pray for this tiny girl and my sanity today. Praying your Monday started better than mine did.

Women Of Faith Part 7

Saturday afternoon. Final wrap up but plenty of good stuff still to be learned about. So let's get to it.

A little bit of Luci Swindoll's bio: This world-traveling adventurer never stops learning, never stops loving, and never stops teaching us how to wring every last drop out of each and every day. She's been a corporate exec, an opera singer, an art teacher, public relations, author, and speaker. And now to my notes:
want  - don't want this - end you life without getting what you want

• live every moment fully
• only you can determine if you're going to be happy
• they have nothing and they love life (She was sharing with us her adventure with World Vision.)
• waiting for our souls to catch up with our bodies
• 1Timothy 6:17 ¹⁷ Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
• if you enjoy the world, you will improve  it
• because nobody told me I couldn't
• I just watched her mouth because  you don't know what will come out
• I just love the sound of it in my mouth
• I'm a millionaire in Christ
• everyone is born with a sin nature
• God has found you righteous in your sinning heart
• Romans 6:23 ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in^[a] Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nicole Johnson (performance)

• I'm invisible
• the greatness of what you are building when no one sees
• working their whole lives on something they would never see finished
• invisibility is the cure to my own pride
• we don't work for them, that's too small

And some final words from their Front Porch:

Lisa Harper

• Heidi's gone wild
• The Next Door
• all addictions are a disorder of worship

Angie Smith

• put you here to hear His voice

Nicole Johnson

• Cinderella
• turning tragedy into triumph

Luci Swindoll

• don't wait
• this is great
• step up, step out, do it

And to wrap up my adventure...some random pictures. Hope to see you there next year.

 

 

 

This last one is "Michael Jackson" performing Bad. It was awesome!

Women Of Faith Part 6

Aren't we a wonderfully colorful group of women? See. You can spy our group from the top of the stairs and know exactly where to go. It was great on the breaks because you could spy each other while walking along the concourse. And now, back to our training.

A bit of Nicole Johnson's bio: She takes the lessons and experiences of women around the world, connecs them with her own, and transforms them into extraordinarily touching performances. She has 20 years in writing, performing, and listening. Her empathy, humor, insight, and hope illuminate how life's greatest value can sometimes be found hidden in its broken pieces. And now my notes:

• Why did they invite you to get coffee? - It's an invitation to connect.
• anger is an issue for women - don't want to be angry or to be seen being angry
• has to get someone under the hood to see what is going on
• where does it hurt, start there
• the flame to the fuel dump in your body
• answering a question so big wearing shoes too small
• fuel dump will annihilate those around you
• are you angry with God?
• why hasn't God taken that away
• there are things we aught to be angry with in this world
• when you give ME your heart, I can control that
• Women Of Faith = Island of Misfit Toys
• let the breaking stop
• I will take those pieces that you try to throw away and create something beautiful out of it

Something these two women had in common. When the emotion got too high, they tossed out a joke to get us all laughing and the room would lighten. It was amazing watching them.

A bit of Angie Smith's bio: She writes a transparent, warm, witty blog Bring the Rain. She has two great passions in life: helping to heal people's hearts and writing. And now, my notes:

• motherhood never really ends
• children have an incredible ability to humble us
• She went into the two stories of Jesus and the storm in the Bible.
• Matthew 14 and how this lesson pertains to all of the challenges we face every day. Peter had three choices as his head was slipping under the water.

1. he can try to keep his own head above water
2. he can call to his friends for help
3. he can call on Jesus

• Storm - Jesus in the boat. In the book of Mark - they call Jesus rabbi, teacher. In the book of Luke - they call Jesus overseer. In the book of Matthew - they call him kyrios - divine Son of God - while the storm is raging He asks about their faith.
• we need to be prepared to answer that question in the middle of our storm

Lunch

Our yummy lunch for today. With my purse of goodies and my improvised camera bag. I love everything that you can do with a necktie.

Women Of Faith Part 5

Saturday morning. We had a weirdo-wall-knocker before our alarms went off (yes, had two a rooster and a dog). Also heard their alarm clock going off and tried to turn it off. Us blind people in the morning. Trying to search for the noise without breaking anything especially our glasses. It was a good thing that those lovely ladies next door were a part of our clan of monkeys. We all gathered ourselves together and had breakfast together in one of the rooms. We were highly entertained by the free paper outside of our room. It had more news in it about Wisconsin than Minnesota.

This is also when our beloved leader reminded us to make sure to wear our Who-hats for the day. Think I may wear mine to go out trick-or-treating with the girls.

Mary Graham went through the list of where everyone was from. A fantastic assortment of ladies. My favorite quote though, "You don't need a lot of people from Wisconsin to make noise."

A bit of Lisa Harper's bio: She brings the Bible to life and has the know-how to do it with a Master of Theological Studies. She served as director for Focus on the Family's women's ministry. Now she writes books and speaks all over the world. And now a few of my notes from the weekend:

• running to Pulpit Rock Colorado Springs and resting in the glory of God, also impersonating a bear
• kids are resilient
• be careful who you leave your children with
• having a collander heart
• warm blanket of victimization will suffocate us
• the Bible is a love story
• Psalms is Gods iPod, especially #39
• when you get together, who listens
• God not only sees us...(I was so focused on what she was going to say next that I lost the rest of the quote. Maybe someone will come along and fill it in for me. I loved listening to her story.)
• absent from the body, present with the glory

Shelia Walsh:

• She shared with us the story of her anniversary presents. The nightie that wouldn't keep her foot warm if she chose to wrap it around her foot and the recent hoodie footie with her name on it = she would be covered. And how much she enjoyed the word "covered".
• it's not about me getting it right
• Psalm 91:4 ⁴ He will cover you with his feathers, 
     and under his wings you will find refuge; 
     his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
• whatever I take in will make some kind of harvest
• Psalm 143: 8 ⁸ Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, 
     for I have put my trust in you. 
  Show me the way I should go, 
     for to you I entrust my life.
• safest place to be is where Jesus is
• John 16:33 ³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
• He loves you as you are
• His ways are different than ours
• I am going to take you to the gates of hell, but I will be with you
• ridiculous mercy
• The Shepherd knows where to find you
• The trouble is in you but so is Jesus
• cast - when a sheep falls over, they can't get up on their own
• Bummer lamb - when the ewe discards it's new born and the shepherd saves it by taking it into his home
• it's not your job to get yourself home

Break time. We got smart today. (If that sentence isn't the funniest one I've written.) We decided to go and get our lunches early so that we wouldn't have to fight the crowds. Off I go to take a break myself now. Pray you are enjoying my notes.

Women Of Faith Part 4

Friday night dinner was an entertaining experience. We ate at the hotel restaurant which was delicious.
First our room and the view out of our window.

Holiday Inn 3M

 

We Bobsy Twins went downstairs to claim a table for the 11 of us that were going to be eating there. We scanned the menu and pondered what to eat. Then, being the polite people we are, we waited for everyone to get to the table before we ordered. So being polite backfired because of the number of people in the restaurant and the speed in which we needed our food done in order to get back on time. It all worked out in the end and I had a fantastic taco salad and my twin got her fries that we were going to stop back for after the event. We had a blast together we two. The rest of our crew started to worry about us a little but we were just having fun and relaxing from our lives.

Friday night seats were set ticket seats. So we got to enjoy our 3rd row stage left seats. It was pretty awesome. The night was filled with comedians and concerts. 

Nicole Johnson
She performed a skit about the many hats that we wear throughout the course of the day. Including how sometimes we end up wearing many hats all at the same time causing us to talk amongst ourself. (Which is a line my roommates fed to me later that night because after a couple glasses of wine I cannot stop talking.)

Mary Mary

The Front Porch!
I was super excited to see that they had a front porch for the stage. It's where the other speakers sat and could have their kids wander up and sit with them while they weren't on the actual stage. I would have enjoyed it a little more if it would have looked like an actual porch but that's probably not feasible for setting up and having the most visual on the stage. Here are a few one-liners from the stage introductions.

• what was it like at the beginning
• healed an unknown wound
• the gift of leaving them (children) at home
• like a donkey at the Kentucky Derby
• Michael Jackson (Nicole Johnson's son had an alternate personality)
• I don't have children, but I have gotten used to children
• laughter is good medicine

John Branyan

borrowed this photo from the event pictures posted to Facebook. I didn't get very good pics of the people on the stage.

• Do you think God has a sense of humor? He made you didn't He?
• bend with the wind
• What are you thinking? Why do women ask that? NOTHING
• Why are you asking me? I'm not even qualified to dress myself. (This was after being scolded for his lawn mowing clothes and then being asked if his wife looks good.)
• spackling accident
• a pregnant woman is alot like Taz
• you throw it away before it gets funny (his take on divorce)

Natalie Grant

Hotel:
I gave you the buttons.
The buttons have snaps.

Women Of Faith Part 3

Friday afternoon's session featured Henry Cloud and Shelia Walsh again. They also did an audience Q&A session. We chose a different row of seats to sit in after lunch. The cookies were the best part of lunch. We we were all amazed at the difference between the coffee line and the bathroom line. You could get through the bathroom line quicker than the coffee line.

The doorway in the back is the bathroom. The women in line are for the coffee and the line just keeps going.

Henry Cloud:

• learned helplessness - nothing I do makes any difference 
• - personalize the bummer things 
• - pervasive the things take over your whole life
•  - permanent is when you think it will be this way always
• you cannot see what the whole world has in store for you 
• There is always a death before a resurrection - It's time to die to some things
• necessary endings 
• - Jesus called them out of something in order to call them into where He wants them 
• - we are hoarders - don't want to let go of the old to get the new 
• Helping a friend who is a hoarder won't work.- She will think, what if she needs this/that, she will not be able to find it out there so she needs to keep it here; she needs to let go of it herself - she is stuck in a time that she can't let go of
• just a little step like a mustard seed
• Lots wife couldn't let go and turned into salt
• Ecclesiastes 3/Byrds - Turn Turn Turn
• Pruning - You need to prune the people and thoughts in your life like you have to prune your plants. You prune because plants produce more than they can sustain, when they get sick, and when they are dead and never coming back to life 
• addictions are contagious
• He never calls us to go alone
• With your monkeys and a little faith...not saying this is easy, it might be a trip through the desert
• 2500 feet is the last minute anything good can happen (He shared a story about skydiving with his wife and I just loved that sentence out of it all.)
• meanwhile, back at the ranch

Universe - He told us that there are 4 corners of the universe and you get to choose where you reside.
1. Isolation - afraid to trust, need and let people in - soul death and despair - can't feed yourself
2. The Bad Connection - makes you feel bad - not good enough - back and forth between 1 and 2
3. Seductive - find a network that makes you feel good but does not fulfill you - lustful - gratification
4. Home - come home - real - just the way you are - with the monkeys that are crazy as you.

Q&A with Henry Cloud and Shelia Walsh:

• He is a coach to walk along side you
• at times doing things that make no sense to you; it's to respect authority
• your brain stops growing at 25
• "you need" is outlawed - you as a parent need that and you aren't having your needs met, your child has no need for that at all. It is better to teach cause and effect or to transfer the need to the child
• you need to go  get some monkeys
• I don't have to carry stuff anymore
• fair does not live here but Jesus does
• forgiveness is a place of freedom in Jesus
• you have a broken people picker
• People today are in a rush to be OK and angry is more comfortable than grief. Anger is the protest of God and He uses it in a way that we don't see.
• your grief should not be done alone, which is why God placed tears where people can see them and help
• we know at some core knowledge that life was never supposed to be this way
• canals of chemicals in the brain tell you how to feel
• live a life so compelling that others want to do what you are doing
• give prayer with Thanksgiving that God already has it in His hands

SheliaWalsh:

• John 14:27²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
• peace - total well being because God's presence is with His people
• the peace offered us is change inside us not out
• it is not the absence of trouble it's the presence of Christ
• Romans 12:1 ¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
• stand firm as a daughter of a King
• Mark 4: 35-41 boat in the storm - they are not afraid until the Lord speaks to the storm
• Where peace is offered doesn't mean that everything is OK
• **Psalm 143:8 ⁸ Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, 
     for I have put my trust in you. 
  Show me the way I should go, 
     for to you I entrust my life.
• Book - Heaven Is For Real - She was asked to read it by a close friend of hers and do a blurb for the back of the book. This book moved her and she was honored later on to meet this amazing boy.
• That Jesus has walked us all the way home

Dinner

Women Of Faith Part 2

Friday Morning was TONS of fun. Got to road trip over 3 hours in the car with some awesome ladies (now known as my monkeys after this day). I got to eat some chocolate covered peanut butter; don't get to have that at home because one of my girls has a nut allergy. Our group leader had created these awesome shirts for our group to wear at the conference. We voted for a pumpkin orange for easy spying. My one friend and I decided to rebel and wear our shirts both days (with another shirt underneath) and it worked out in our favor because the other ladies in our group could easily spy us and find our seats again when they went off for a break.

 
Friday Morning Session:

Shelia Walsh:

• She found in her dying what she longed for in her living.

• Romans 8: 38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

• Mark 5: 25-29 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. ²⁶ She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. ²⁷ When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, ²⁸ because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” ²⁹ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

• There are 603 rules in the Old Testament beyond the 10 Commandments.
•  Leviticus 15:25 “‘When a woman has a discharge of blood for many days at a time other than her monthly period or has a discharge that continues beyond her period, she will be unclean as long as she has the discharge, just as in the days of her period.²⁶ Any bed she lies on while her discharge continues will be unclean, as is her bed during her monthly period, and anything she sits on will be unclean, as during her period. ²⁷ Anyone who touches them will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening.

• So the woman from Mark was alone for 12 years. She had no contact with anyone. If she would even come close to bumping into someone on the street, she would have to yell out that she was not clean. Can you imagine being alone for 12 years and not being able to touch anyone? Jesus gave a chance for a bigger opportunity than she asked for. He announce to all that her faith had made her clean so that she could immediately being to rejoin society and being to enjoy all that God intended for her.

• Shame is more devastating than guilt.

• Lay your baggage down and be free.

Shelia was amazing to listen to. Her accent and her passion for what she is saying just mesmerizes you. Her bio shares that she is an author, singer, television personality, and dog walker who does it all while wearing killer heels. She shares the real issues many of us deal with every day. She is currently working on completing her Master's degree in Divinity.

Henry Cloud:

Called himself the token guy of the day

• It's the only place I feel accepted because of my man bag
• allow you to think about things that don't exist yet
• we all have issues and problems

1. clinical world - where we hurt
2. relationship world
3. dreams and goals

• do you want to be happy?
• 10% of happiness comes from circumstances
• Happy people are givers. If you could find a way to give, eat great food and have amazing sex all at the same time, they would never be able to find you.
• enablers are being stolen from by people who will not face their issues
• He doesn't have any problems. I can help you to help him to have some problems.
• healthier with happiness and giving
• learning to say no
• Happy people connect. They have deep connections with a circle of people. They have a place you can go empty and leave full.
• Baby, be my monkey and get into my cage

The monkey story was amazing. He was part of the group that was studying happiness instead of depression. He ran across a study that they did on stress levels in monkeys. They placed a monkey in a cage and completely traumatized it to find a base line for stress. Then they placed another monkey in the cage and the initial monkey's stress level was cut in half. Just having someone go through it with you, makes it seem not so bad. Go grab a monkey and ease the stress in your life.

Henry Cloud's bio shares that he has his PhD. That he has written 20 books. That he is easy-to-understand, gives practical advice tempered with humor and compassion, and it will stick with you long after you have heard him speak. That he has a knack for simplifying complicated issues.

Lunch
Was interesting. They provided sandwiches with an orange and a cookie and a bottle of water. Two of us went for the seven that were there and ended up having to wait for the water because they ran out in the serving line. I guess they didn't think us rebels would be able to finish this mission (or they were really hungry) because they sent out a search party for us. It was all good and we all enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.  I am blessed to be able to call this group of women my monkeys.

Women Of Faith St Paul MN

As Mary Graham said at one point during the conference, "What happens at Women of Faith, stays at Women of Faith...except for what happens on the stage." So here is a compilation of my notes from the weekend. Bust first... It was an amazing event; rock concert, worship, and personal development all rolled into one. My first Women of Faith conference. Our seats were amazing! We were 3rd row from the floor directly off stage left. (Love Snagglepuss)

Our leader put together a fun experience for us. She had tshirts printed off for us which got plenty of attention all on their own. Then she also surprised us with Who-hats. Some women we passed had to tell us that they wouldn't be caught wearing them. Some women stopped us to tell us how great of an idea they were. You could spot anyone from our group all the way down the concourse; so if you lost anyone, they would be plenty easy to find.

The morning session of Friday was General Admission seating. Therefore, our group sat high up in a different section, which was fine with us. We could still see and hear everything just fine. Being a sentence collector, this was an amazing event for me. I took 7 pages worth of notes. Will share the highlights of them with you through the week.

The theme was Imagine.
The hostess was Mary Graham.
The worship team was Jennifer Thigpen, Janice Gaines, Laura Cooksey, and Allison Abbott.
The musical talent for weekend was Natalie Grant and Mary Mary.
The speakers were Henry Cloud, Lisa Harper, Nicole Johnson, Angie Smith, Luci Swindoll, and Shelia Walsh.
Our comedian was John Branyan.
You can find out more about all of these wonderful people on the Women of Faith website.

When we walked in we received a schedule and a booklet. The book included bios on all the speakers and had some advertising for the merchandise you could purchase that day.  The book also included tear out cards for their Q & A session and the prayer of faith at the end of the weekend. The also included a few pages for those who forgot to bring a journal or didn't think they would need one and were sadly mistaken. I took 10 pages of notes. Over the next couple of posts I'll share with you what I found to be noteworthy and necessary for others to hear.

Meet Me Monday

Been pondering what I might share with you about me today. Being my anniversary today, I started thinking about when we got married and how I got where I am today. I also started turning that story into a fictional story...don't have to add too much more drama to it to make it good fiction reading. I've always had some sort of drama in my life. For a while I was called "trouble" by my closest friends. Eh...

So here's what I have come up with...something completely different than anything else I will write.

THE DAY THAT GOD SPOKE TO ME.

No lie. I heard the voice loud and clear in my head. It was a male voice. It physically moved me. And here's the kicker...I told Him that I wasn't going to listen to Him. Ha...you should see what he did to me after that.

The moment happened on my first wedding day. Yes, shocker, this is my second marriage. The first guy was no good and he had mentally abused me to the point that I didn't think I was good enough for anyone else.

My bridesmaids and I were standing in the back of a Catholic church getting ready to walk down the aisle. When it came time for me to meet up with my dad and have him walk me down the aisle, I heard...

"You know you're going to get divorced if you do this."

My response, "Yea, I know. But it will be a good couple of years."

I mean, how dumb can a girl be?

Lasted two years exactly. During those two years he came close to physical abuse (threw things), cheated on me, and lost many good jobs because of his unwillingness to put the effort in. He also blew out his back and was laid off for a while. I got tired of support his ass while he ran around and played with whoever he wanted. I finally had enough. Once he was back on his feet (literally) I told him to leave, I was done.

It was during these two years that God placed my hubby and I on the same path. His brother married my cousin and we met at their wedding. I didn't think about dating my hubby until about two years after that. During those two years, God showed me that there were decent guys out there that were interested and they weren't willing to cross the marriage line. Decent guys! Who could keep a job and show a woman respect without wanting anything in return. So when I got fed up, I knew that I could find someone better and didn't have to deal with this crap anymore.

Rumor has it that he hasn't changed a whole lot in the 10 years since I spoke to him last.

So, that's my story. Moral is...listen when God speaks loudly in your head. And...if you're dating a loser, you can't change him. Only he can choose to change himself. Leave him. He will either change to win you back or will continue to be a loser (then you're better off without him).

I almost thought about digging up the old wedding pictures...they're about 200 miles away. I looked good, so I saved a few.

Movie Review - Water

My hubby chose this one from the library to watch for one of our date nights after the girls were in bed. He ended up going to bed about half way through because he was tired of reading subtitles.

I, on the other hand, made it through the entire movie. It was an extremely well put together movie, subtitles and all. The ending left me heartbroken and lost in my loneliness. Should not have watched this movie while my girls were at their grandma's for the night. Won't ruin the ending by telling you why. I'll just leave that as a warning for all of you moms out there. Make sure you can go and watch your monkeys sleep after watching this movie.

The movie is based in India in the 1930s. They married off their daughters at the age of seven. (My eldest is almost 7.) They got these young girls all dressed up in all these fancy duds. Threw a huge party where they celebrated all around town. And ended the night with a huge feast with tons of sweets. What little girl wouldn't love that sort of a party.

The movie is about how the people of India treated their widows. They believed that when the man died, half of the woman died with him. These women are given 3 options. The first is that their family can allow them to stay in the household. The second is that they can die with their husband. The third is to be placed into a special home for only widows. Widows were believed to be unwhole and thereby unclean. Some even believed them to be unpersons. The lecherous men of the time believed it to be good fortune to be able to have sex occasionally with a widow.

The movie follows a young girl of 7 whose husband has passed away. Her parents choose to place her in a widow's home. She isn't given any explanation as to why she was there and why her parents were leaving her there. The widows in the home explain it to her and help to ease her pain and make her feel at home. This girl changes the life of these women and brings a bright light into some of their lives.

It's a movie about love, life, and how we see each other. It's about treating people as God's creations and not as objects. It's about protecting and loving the people in our lives.

I won't ruin the movie for you by telling you any more about the movie. It's a good watch.

The Best Worst Thing - A Book Review

Article first published as Book Review: The Best Worst Thing: A Memoir by Kristen K. Brown on Blogcritics.


I have to thank BlogCritics for connecting me to this awesome book. The list of women that I know that need to read this book gets bigger every time I think about the book. I devoured this book it was so good. Then I would tell myself to slow down and think about that amazing thing she just said that was so simple. And so as not to get too ahead of myself...let me get to the book.
From the back cover:
As a wife, new mother, and successful career woman, Kristen Brown thinks her life is set. Until one morning, her husband doesn't wake up.

Just that sentence screamed at me that I needed to read this book. My story is no where near her story but I knew I would be able to embrace all that she had to say. There were many nights that I set the book down because reading anymore would have caused me to cry abundantly. My husband worked in Florida for two years; we live in Wisconsin. He left on this new job two months after welcoming our third daughter into our lives. I would fear for a plane crash or something equally as bad happening to him while he was on the road leaving me with these three little girls looking to me for everything.

Kristen had to live with the reality of it. Being with her husband one night and the next morning finding that he had passed in the night. She got struck with the reality that not everything turns out as you plan in life and that everything happens to make you a better and stronger person. But I'm getting ahead of myself again.

I loved reading her book. Most of the chapters are bite sized for those women who only have a few minutes at a time to devour the information that they need to continue on with their lives. Some of her topics seemed completely random (which I love because that's how I write) until she walked you through it and then you could see that it fit perfectly in her story at that point and you could understand that moment.

Kristen gave you the total picture of her life. You got the bare bones of her thoughts: the good and the bad. The challenges of being a mom, especially a single mom. How we women sometimes tend to focus on the proper and necessary raising of our children and sometimes forget about our own health and well-being. Which reminded me of a quote from Jim Rohn, "You take care of you for me and I'll take care of me for you."

I really enjoyed reading about her spiritual search and how she went at it as a professor more than searching for something that would make her feel better. Kristen read the history of the religions of our world and discovered that she doesn't fit into a religion but she has a very strong faith. She loved finding out that Jesus was a real man rather than a mythical figure (especially seeing that she was raised Lutheran). Kristen realized that there is more out there than the typical person likes to talk about. That we are all connected through all time. God doesn't see time, only we as humans need time.

I wanted to give Kristen a high-five (as cheesy as that sounds) when she started telling about her "gifted" daughter who always amazes her about how much she truly knows. She mentioned that it might have something to do with being left-handed and that making people more creative or intelligent. My youngest is a lefty and she astounds me daily by how much she knows, how much she is capable of, and how well she can dissect an idea or an item just to see how it all works. Loved it because I now know that I am not alone with my tiny girl and all of the challenges she puts me through.

If you need a wake up call to your life and what you may think about other moms and their issues in life, you need to read this book. I am looking at the women around me in a different light. I am looking at my husband in a different light.

To find more about Kristen and her book, you can find her at her website:
http://www.kristenkbrown.com/
Or on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/KristenKBrownWrites?sk=wall
Or on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/#!/KristenKBrown

Go meet this amazing woman.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher for a book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

Made to Crave - MOMS Study

Coming to the last week of the study and learned so much through this. Survived today without eating anything I wasn't supposed to. I am realizing that I have been praying the serenity prayer in times of stress with the kids. Who knew it was so universal a use? I have used it every day this week so far.

This weekend after the study is finished I plan on going back through my notes and giving you all a summary of my take on the study. I've enjoyed it alot. And am sure going to miss these women over the summer, hope there are park get-togethers planned sometime.

Book Review - A Conversation With God by Alton Gansky

A Conversation with God by Alton Gansky

If you could ask God any question, what would it be? The author takes an insightful look at those pressing questions in today’s world and uses Bible verses to create a conversation between the Giants of the Bible and the questioner. The book includes a notes section with all of the Bible verses to back up the conversations and makes note of the ones that are straight quoted and the ones that the author has taken some liberty of interpreting. The topics are God, the Bible, the Future, Pain and Suffering, Jesus, the Kingdom of God, Heaven and Hell, Humanity, Christian Living, and Today’s World. Each topic is broken down into 4-8 questions and each question is discussed by more than one of the Bible’s Giants. A summary of these Giants and who they were in the Bible are included in the introduction.

The author does a great job of writing both for the new Christian, the non-Christian, and the Christian that believes that they know it all. I enjoyed the usage of the Bible verses and not only his interpretation of what the Bible says to him. The range of topics really got me thinking about these questions all over again. I had many “ah-ha” moments.

From the questions about God, I found, “To believe that God created everything is to believe in God – and that admission demands a change in the person.”

From the questions about the Bible, I found, “Jesus became the new contract.”

From the questions on the Future, I found, “Paul said, ‘Let us not sleep as others do, but let us watch and be sober.’”

From the questions on Pain and Suffering, I found, “Fairness has nothing to do with death and disaster.”

From the questions on Jesus, I found, “Faith isn’t wishful thinking. It isn’t a leap in the dark. It isn’t belief without facts. Faith is based on what has been revealed to you and what you have experienced.”

From the questions on the Kingdom, I found, “You are not exempt from problems, but faith enables you to face them with confidence that God is there to help you.”

From the questions on Heaven and Hell, I found, “In heaven you will be more than you are, do more than you've done, and be freer than you’ve ever been.”

From the questions on Humanity, I found, “You are greater than your bones, muscles, internal organs, and brain – you have a spiritual element.”

From the questions on Christian Living, I found, “Peace is quiet in the midst of turmoil. It is facing difficulty with a confident and calm spirit.”

If these quotes intrigued you and you would like to read more like these, I suggest that you pick up this book and read it at your leisure. Take your time and ponder these words.

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

Church – It’s not just a place to worship

I grew up going to a Catholic church. Looking back, I enjoyed the structure of it. While going it seemed like torture some days and something I was supposed to do on the others. I became old enough that my parents couldn’t make me go to church anymore, so I stopped going.

Decided to marry my first husband and started going to a Catholic church again. Stopped going because I was sure that the church was going to fall down around us for all the sin he had been committing.

Met my husband and he wanted to join a church because he thought we needed it. He knew the value of going to church. I have the belief that you can worship God anyplace and at any time…which is true. God doesn’t only hear you while you’re sitting in a pew. Many pew sitters are there just to sit anyway. I didn’t see the value of joining a church because I didn’t know what it was really all about until we joined our first church.

First sermon was on the value and constitution of marriage. It was destiny. Found out that church is like an extended family. They are there for you when your blood family may not be or you may not want them to be. A church family will help you discover your hidden talents. They will help you to help others. It was an amazing feeling.

Church after church that we’ve joined (moving from city to city) shows me deeper and deeper what it is that a church is designed to be. It is a place to gather, to make friends, to share ideas, to brainstorm, to learn, to teach, to bond. God’s plan for a church is where 2 or more people come together to share and learn and love. It is your family filled with brothers and sisters and He is the Father leading us all.

Being Mary

I’ve lost a child. Felt it die. Known the pain of loss. Carried the memory around in my heart. Known that the death was for the best and that life will be better because of that.

I’ve raised some beautiful and intelligent children. I’ve watched them grow wondering how they will change the world. How they will improve the lives of those around them.

The power of Mary is amazing. To raise this beautiful blessing knowing that He is going to change the world.
  
Knowing that He is no hers. Knowing that He was going to be doing amazing things in His life. Watching His following grow. Being proud of this man who was once her tiny baby born in a manger.

Coming to terms with the pain of His death. Knowing that He could call on God and be released from all of this and He doesn’t. Watching Him take it and feeling the pain along with Him as any mother does. Praying that she could take some of this pain from Him because that is a mother’s love.

Watching His final moments on the cross. Praying for help. Praying for wisdom. Accepting His death and wanting to do what was best for Him in His death; what He would have wanted her to do. Embracing the strong mother role that was needed to console the rest of the family and the disciples.

The relief and joy that would come with His being raised from the dead. Knowing that death could not hold her baby down. The knowledge that He has gone to live with His father and that He has made life better for all of man-kind.

Giving birth to this baby, all alone, with only her husband there. Being young and scared and in unfamiliar territory. Not knowing what was going to happen. The pain and fear that comes with having a baby. Knowing in her heart that everything will be ok. That they will both come out of it healthy and happy. Because God would not have promised her just to have it all end that night.

Looking at that beautiful baby. Knowing that He was going to rely on her for the next number of years so that she can rely on Him for the rest of hers. Looking at that fragile life that God had entrusted to her and realizing that He would grow into a strong and powerful man.

That is the power of Mary. She set the bar on motherhood. She inspires me daily to do more, be more, to endure, and to pray for wisdom. She accepted her calling and went at it full force. So what’s holding me back? What’s holding you back?

Made to Crave - MOMS Study

Notes from morning of 03.27.11

Doing my study this morning I became fearful in the thought of relying entirely in every way on God. What will happen to me when I live my life entirely for God. There is a fine line between living you life to glorify God and living your life entirely for God. It's scary to think of the typer of person I would become if I did that. Would I still be me?

Notes from church 03.27.11

We had a substitute pastor this week and his sermon sparked quite a few pages of thought. I always take my journal with me and choose to write in it instead of in the bulletin that they provide. I won't lose these awesome thoughts this way.

I was very excited when he started talking about Jesus being in the wilderness and being tempted by the devil. That was part of this weeks Made to Crave study. And then he started talking...

(notes as I wrote them)
"And so we humbly pray, Don't even bring me close to a place where I might fail you."
Humility is where you lay yourself at God's feet
Sufferings are you being tested - they are a test of a character, a test to be faithful, a test to be willing, a chance to grow stronger
the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness to be tested and to affirm that He had the strength to accomplish all that God had in store for Him.
The opportunity was there for Him to fail, it was a real struggle
So what the sub pastor just said is false, he told us that Jesus was tested not tempted, I agree that being tested and being tempted go hand in hand but I believe that Jesus was tempted as we have been tempted. I think that was the point that God was trying to make in the Bible,we are all human and will be tempted. He came in the form of man in order to show how we should handle our temptation, how to trust God when tempted and not rely on your own understanding. God shows us with David what happens when we're tempted and choose to follow our wants instead of relying on God's truths, promises and rules. David show what happens when we crave and rely on our own understanding rather than relying on God. Joseph shows us how we should act when tempted, how he relied on God to hold him firm to help him remain faithful and true. Jesus shows us how we should act when tempted, rely on God's word.
Spectacularism in a church when you have power point presentation and a band with a choir every week. False. This would be using your congregations skills and talents that are God given to make the service better, but only better in the fact that these few are offered the chance to show and share their God given gifts and talents. They are not showing off, they are sharing and glorifying and praising with their gifts.

Made to Crave - MOMS Study

Just started a new study with my MOMS group yesterday. Good stuff. I noticed that the attendance was down and I hope it wasn't due to the book. Because this book isn't just about your craving for food. You can turn the craving into anything that you obsess about in your mind and place that in there for food.

I don't have a huge problem with food but as many of us do, I eat more than my body needs to survive and I don't always eat what my body needs. This week's topic is Empowered. Empower yourself to stand up against those cravings and realize what they truly are.

We crave because we are missing something in our lives. What we're missing is what we need to focus on rather than the craving. What we crave matters, maybe we can find a way to connect what we crave to the thing that we are missing thereby causing us to crave. We need to pray to be enlightened as to what it is that we are missing that is causing us to crave and help to strengthen us against the urge.

Can't wait to see what the rest of the week brings me.

Sisters

After spending a weekend with only women, I have come to realize that we never out grow our need to be girls and have other girls in our lives.

God blessed us with big hearts and the ability to form great relationships. Women bond in ways that men can't understand. And if worked at, these can last a lifetime.