I wrote this and had more thoughts on it before I decided to post.
Been tossing around the idea about what is defined as gossip. I think the fact that I haven't talked much in my life that I don't quite understand the concept of gossip. The hubby shuts down our conversations when he believes we've been gossiping. This leaves me confused. I dug into the Bible to see what God had to say about gossiping.
I found that gossiping is when you talk down about a person or that you are spreading rumors about someone. That made me feel much better. The one conversation that I had with the hubby was about a couple that we've been friends with for a bit and certain things are happening in their life recently. Since we both had information that the other didn't, we got to talking about the new news about them. Then we started discussing how we couple best help and what next steps we should do. Brainstorming, problem solving. The hubby cut it up short because he said that we were gossiping. I didn't quite see the same result because I would have said most everything that I said in the car in their presence because I believe that people should know what others are thinking of them if it is produced in a proper form and manner.
The other conversation that came to mind with the idea of gossiping was a talk I had with a trusted girlfriend. We were discussing another friend and how it seemed that something had changed in her. We were wondering how long it was going to last and were problem solving what in her life may be the cause of all the changes and if there was anything that we may be able to do to help her. This may be close to gossiping but it was a trusted conversation, we weren't talking down, and we were trying to find a solution that we could use to possibly help this matter.
The topic came up again in MOMS group this week. It was brought up that some people have voiced that they don't share prayer requests because they don't want to become "the talk of the town" so to say. I agree to that thought because some people love to just talk about others. I think that we need to not be afraid to talk to trusted friends because women need women to talk to.
Here is my conclusion to the idea of gossiping: as long as you are talking up and now down, as long as you are talking truths and not rumors, as long as you are talking to find a solution that you will act on, as long as you are willing to talk to the person of topic about what you are discussing, and as long as you do not share the conversation with others, then you are not gossiping.
I would love to hear what you think of this conclusion. I have been having such a hard time talking to people lately. I have been having a hard time thinking lately. So many storms brewing in my brain. So many ideas waiting to be birthed from my mind. But only so much energy to do anything.
I've been thinking about this more and I still don't think that my definition is close. I may be on the right track. Things keep coming to me that talking about people can always lead to gossip. Something tells me that not talking about people is not a good thing as well. There are so many fine lines in everything. It's hard to judge where some people's lines are compared to others.
I still have no answer about this dilemma. Reading my study for MOMS this week I came across a list of Bible verses which ended with the question, "What do these mean to you?" I wrote, "It means that I am stuck with a load of words and have no clue as to what to do with them anymore."
Here are the verses for you to read:
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. - Proverbs 21:23
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. - Proverbs 10:19
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. - James 1:26
Do not judge, or you too will be judged...Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? - Mathew 7:1,3
What do these verses say to you?