We had a moment this weekend where we were all in the same room discussing a disturbance. The 2 girls who have the most different personalities share a bedroom and it lends to many disturbances in our household. With all of us in the room this time talking and not yelling, it felt like everyone was being heard ...not always understood but we're working on that because that's the hardest part to having such diverse personality types all living under one roof.
After we all dispersed to go achieve some chore while giving space to everyone, I grabbed the one girl and just held her. I didn't say anything, I just held her. I looked down at her after a bit and saw tears in her eyes. I wiped them away and let her know how much I love her and that it's hard when it feels like no one understands Morrison your side of the discussion. She asked me to not let go for a good 15 minutes. Finally I asked her if she was ready to finish her chore and that would give time to snuggle later. She agreed and we went on with our day.
I was sitting here reading The Seed Principle by Aubrey Johnson and this visual popped in my head that I think would help my daughter understand what happened during that discussion.
She sees things in straight lines. "This is our path and we're going to take it, no detours." Her dad is a lot like that but age has allowed him to see other paths he'd rather be on and he adjusts. She's not there yet. The sisters and I are more about the scenery. "Did you see that shiny thing? Now where did the path go." She doesn't always get that and that's where a good portion of our conflict comes from. The other good majority is from them enjoying pushing each other's buttons. That will dissolve with age.
If I can get her to see her path and recognize that her sisters get distracted and don't remember that she has created this path, that may reduce the number of discussions. Also letting the sisters know that she has a set path that she likes to walk and if they can be mindful of it and not disregard it, that should reduce the dis sessions as well.
Not sure if this visual can help anyone reading this but I didn't want to lose the image with everything else that's going to happen in my day.
Until next time
Have a Blessed day