I thought I would share a way to tackle those thoughts of another agenda.
My husband and I have been going to a counselor for the past year. We realized that we didn't know how to talk to each other without hurting each others feelings. Therefore, we would either do it anyway or we wouldn't talk at all.
Over this past year we learned a little bit about how the other one thinks. Or at least hears what is being said. We learned how what we say affects the other person. We learned a little bit about how the other one interprets what is being said. We learned about the little ticks and triggers that we each have. We learned the different ways men and women think in general and how we each fit into each descriptions.
It's been a long year of ups and downs. Now we're enjoying weekends together and the odd conversations together. We are doing little things to make life a little easier for each other.
So as negative of a reputation that counseling has accumulated over the years needs to be turned around. They are the go between. They flesh out the details. They help people see things in a new light.
I would suggest this means of a solution to just about anyone and everyone I know. It's helped us alot even if we don't talk about the problems between us anymore. Just hearing about the issues that go on in each other's life when we're not together has been a huge help.
The qualifier is that we made sure to find a Christian counselor who would make sure to steer us down the proper paths.