Saturday, June 18, 2011

Thoughts of Another Agenda

Today I want to be fat.

So that's not a pic of me being fat, but of being pregnant...closest I could get and I love that pic for some reason. Back to my thoughts.

I want to be fat. I want to be huge. I want to be large. I think these thoughts as I lay on the bed feeling thin and my hubby looks at me.
then I think about all the health problems that would go with it. Not being able to move or breathe well. That's not really what I want or even want to think. It's another one of those hidden agenda moments.
What I want is to be noticed for me. My ego is screaming. I need to not be seen as someone's (many ones) mom or someone's wife. My ego wants to be seen as me.
Maybe I need to take some time to write. Maybe I need to take some time to create. And then I remember the monkey circus and how they always seem to foil these plans because they feel neglected or ignored.
Being a mom is a hard job. And I feel my job gets harder being the wife of a former Marine with perfectionist qualities. His sighs, silences and sentences are sometimes deadly. But his good qualities out weigh that (most days).
My favorite hubby pic with the baby that was causing me to be fat in the pic at the top. Back to my thoughts.

Then I opened this book I got from the library. I know my girls like Kevin Henkes so I went kind of crazy renting his books from the library. (He's from Wisconsin too, in case you didn't know.)

The story is simple and the pictures are inspiring. It reminds me of my favorite times as a kid. Being in nature, listening and imagining. Think that's something I need to do more of. Which is why I was so inspired by this book from the library.

Loved this book and so did the girls. So I sewed together some lined pages and we started writing down all the sounds we heard on our walk. Which inspired the girls more. Listening Bingo. Plain Bingo sheet with the sounds we normally hear randomly placed on the page. I'll let you know how that one works next week when we get a chance to try it. Just started raining here. So beautiful to watch...just wish I could hear it over the monkey circus. *sigh* Someday it'll be silent in the house and I'll wish all of their noise was back to keep me company.