For the past couple years, I just thought it was going to be another day. All the rest of them have. They go off without a lot of flair.
Then the night before, I could not sleep. It was awful. I finally told myself that it was because God wanted to be the first one to wish me happiness in the day and give me the present of sleep. Only to wake every two hours (or less) to see if I could get up yet without making myself miserable.
That awful night I started going over my life and how old I was and how so much of my life is over. The funniest and saddest was realizing that there would be no more babies to keep me young. That I should be a grandma. That I am now old enough to be called grandma. At least my kids are still too young to make that happen.
I account all the negative feelings and the feeling of now being old to my childhood programming. They always had over-the-hill parties and black everything and old-timer gag gifts. So my lovely subconscious is pulling those thoughts back to life.
I know all these thoughts will pass and that I'll be back to normal soon enough. Besides 40 doesn't look bad on me. Here's some pics from our day.
I think the best of my day besides the gifts in the pictures were two things. My sister was the first (besides the hubby) to wish me a happy birthday. We don't always get along which made that extra special. And my mommy picked out a great card with a fun surprise inside.
I am blessed. Who can be miserable about your age when you have so many blessings in your life?